Welcome to the first ever installation of Spit Takes and Fortune Telling, where I will recap some of my knee-jerk reactions to WWE PPV events and sound off on where I think WWE should go from here. Full disclosure, this is NOT an analysis of the PPV’s. If that’s more your jam, please check out our “Grades & Analysis” posts for some great insight and opinions on the show. If you’re looking for a post with some hot takes and amateur fantasy booking, you’ve come to the right place. Without further ado, let’s get at it:

NXT Takeover: War Games

The Spit Takes:

Before I get into these, I’ll define what a Spit Take is. It’s one of those things that if you see it as you’re taking a sip of water, coffee, adult beverage (usually this one), etc., it’s so astounding that you have no choice but to spew the liquid out of your mouth, jaw agape, with the CM Punk crazy eyes on your face. Now, not all of these will be legitimate spit takes (trust me, I wasn’t spitting beer all over my house all night), but they’re moments that you may or may not have noticed that immediately made me have a reaction.

  • Lars Sullivan is a scary human being.
  • The Velveteen Dream’s gear was en fuego.
  • AJ Styles is the best worker in the company, Aleister Black might be #2.
  • Did you see that Sister Abigail/DDT thingy that Velveteen Dream did? Unreal.
  • Peyton Royce got screwed…TWICE!
  • My fiance never saw Drew McIntyre before…my fiance now loves Drew McIntyre.
  • Zelina Vega has the best snap-rana in the game.
  • CIEN! OUTTA NOWHERE! Bien por ti, La Sombra!
  • Roddy looked ridiculous in the AoP gear.
  • For not being a traditional War Games match, the was an AWESOME War Games match!

The Fortune Telling:

Well, NXT has been officially shaken up. We have a new Women’s Champ, new NXT Champ, a diversified midcard and absolute havoc in the Tag Division. Here’s some snap, off the cuff predictions moving forward.

  • The coronation of Lars Sullivan as the monster of NXT has officially occurred. Look for him to be in the NXT Championship picture very shortly after one more feud which will culminate at the Takeover in Philadelphia. But against whom? My begrudging bet: Aleister Black. Why is it begrudging? Neither Black nor Lars should be losing any time soon and Black should be on the main roster ASAFP.
  • Speaking of which, if War Games was the #1 match of the night, Aleister Black vs. Velveteen Dream was #1-A. Great story told, the right guy went over, and the Dream was made a star overnight. I keep saying it and I’ll keep saying it until it happens: Aleister Black needs to be on the main roster yesterday! Velveteen might have had a bit of a face turn here. If Black does go to the main roster, a face Velveteen Dream vs. Lars Sullivan feud would be great. Dream’s ability to be flamboyant but intense in his promos against the perpetually angry-faced Sullivan would make for entertaining programming and could serve as a slingshot for the winner into the NXT Championship picture.
  • Ember Moon is the new NXT Women’s Champion, deservedly so. If NXT doesn’t capitalize on the resounding fan sentiment that Peyton Royce got screwed, it would be a shame. The NXT Women’s division is still very strong despite the departure of Asuka. An Iconic Duo vs. Ember Moon feud going forward would be a great kickoff to Moon’s reign as champion and sendoff for Royce and Billie Kay to the main roster (HOT TAKE!).
  • Well would ya look at Cien! The sloppy finish had the whole aura of an injury behind it. It’s looking like Drew might have torn his bicep during the match. Whether the finish was changed mid-match or not, Cien winning was a huge swerve. The Almas/Vega partnership is awesome and works perfectly. It’s not corny like the Miz and Maryse can be, but Vega isn’t just a pretty face who “manages” the wrestler. Great dynamic between the two and it should be a dangerous combination going forward. It’s hard to fathom who challenges Cien next if Drew is actually injured. There are virtually no top babyfaces who haven’t had a shot a the title yet. Whoever it is, though, Cien’s reinvigorated career is an exciting time.
  • Where the heck do we go after War Games? So the Undisputed Era won War Games. The NXT Tag Team Champions lost but didn’t lose their titles. The former Champs have yet to get a rematch for said titles. I guess this would be the time to call up the Authors of Pain to the main roster. Roddy should stay to have a singles feud with Adam Cole (BayBay) and ReDragon should challenge for SAnitY’ titles. That’s really the only bit that makes sense out of all the chaos that was War Games. Speaking of, I hope WWE doesn’t overplay this like they did with the Shark Cages, but War Games should definitely not be a one-off. Make it once a year or something, but it needs to stay.

Survivor Series

Spit Takes:

  • Did they really put Shield vs. New Day as the curtain jerker? It was great, but, like, c’mon man.
  • Why, oh why, did they eliminate Becky Lynch and Bayley within 5 minutes? This match made nobody on Smackdown look good. If this is a measuring stick, the next Smackdown Women’s Championship match should just be Charlotte, standing in the ring with her title, smiling for 10 minutes because nobody deserves to challenge her at this point.
  • HOWEVER! Say what you will, but the Nia Jax vs. Tamina bit was just a bunch of fun. Asuka got the win, I’m 2-0 on the night.
  • Wait, was that an End of Days outta nowhere for the Baron Corbin win? I feel like someone said that was gonna happen. Hmmmm. 3-0 on the night.
  • “Hey Miz, my hand went up, your mouth went closed.” Ooooo he was so close to sounding cool there. But of course we couldn’t just have a good overall experience, could we? Dammit Baron.
  • Remember when I said that Charlotte vs. Bliss had to happen because these were the two best women in the company? Yeah well THAT was why! Best Women’s match of the year by far. I’ll gladly take an L if that’s the match it happens with. 3-1 on the night.
  • Remember when I said this match would be stiff and end with a double Uce to Sheamus for the win? Remember when only 1 and a half of those things happened? ME TOO! CLOSE ENOUGH! That plancha with the tag out for the Usos to end the match was spectacular. 4-1 on the night.
  • The win counter was all fun and games until the score was 3-2. You know the main event is going to be the tie breaker. But they HAD to say “if AJ Styles wins, he wins Survivor Series for Smackdown.” So of course he lost. Thanks a lot, Byron.
  • Brock vs. AJ was, however, the match of the night, fight me about it. 4-2 on the night.
  • Finn’s gear was awesome.
  • HHH and Finn Too Sweeted!
  • They did Suck It vs. Glorious! (Damn, I’m good.)
  • Is it just me or does Kurt Angle look, like, really friggin old?
  • Nakamura vs. Finn was great. Finn Too Sweeted Shin on the face. All good things.
  • Sami and KO…what a waste.
  • 5-2 on the night #HumbleBrag

Fortune Telling:

*Disclaimer* For everyone on RAW, just assume at the end of whatever I say, there is also the possibility of aligning with Triple H because who knows what the hell is going on anymore?

  • The Shield is probably going to try to win their titles back. Unless they somehow find a way to do a trilogy with the New Day, this is the only way to go for the time being. And that’s ok.
  • Asuka needs a championship match immediately. On Smackdown, see above about Charlotte just standing there and smiling.
  • Baron Corbin looks great as U.S. Champ and should be going into a program with Bobby Roode soon.
  • The Miz needs to drop the IC title and move up to the main event picture. He’s done all he can with the IC belt. MOVE ON ALREADY!
  • Where The Bar or The Usos go from here doesn’t matter. Just keep beating the bajeezus out of people. Bar vs Shield is likely to continue until the Revival returns. Bringing up the AoP to get into it with the Usos would be a great idea.
  • It would be a sin to have AJ drop the belt to Jinder. Styles needs to be Champion for as long as possible. KO and/or Sami would be fine feuds to lead to Mania where a Nakamura match should absolutely happen. Brock…see ya at the Rumble, big guy.
  • So Triple H and Kurt Angle are full-fledged feuding now, I guess. Which is weird because neither are full timers and WrestleMania is a long way away. Add into the mix Braun almost murdered Trips after the match and I legitimately have no idea what’s going on.
  • Looks like we’re getting Finn vs. Joe but on the main roster this time. That’s always a good time and gives both guys compelling, high-profile stuff to do. Cheers to that.
  • KO and Sami Zayn I guess cost Smackdown the match but not really? Are they about to be up against the whole roster now? Who knows? Shane is gonna be mad at them, Daniel Bryan is already mad at Shane, it’s a mess. Guess we gotta wait and see. It’s an unpredictable time on the main roster…I’m not really sure if that’s a good or bad thing right now.

Survivor Series weekend on the whole was a lot of fun. Lots of good wrestling and memorable moments. NXT is shaping up to be returning back to its form back when Finn, KO, and Zayn were all running the place, which is good. The main roster is a hot mess and it’s gonna be pretty fun to see how it all unwinds. Did you have any Spit Take moments this weekend that I didn’t touch on? What feuds do you think will start to take shape? Sound off in the comments and don’t forget to check out our Grades & Analysis post for more insight and reflection on this weekend and context for what I just ranted about above.

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